Top tech tip #3...

This tip comes from one of the more shady members of our troop of valiant handsome scooterists (NOT the Shagster, who does not condone these actions). I do not recommend this, but it's here for completeness.How to save money and not waste your cash on genuine ulma italian parts. You may not have noticed but the rubber gaiters at the business end of clutch and gear cables are very similar to those found on kids bikes. Make your way to a school bike shed, armed with requisiste tools and simply nick 'em off the kids bikes brake cables. Try to remember to tighten up the kids brakes wont you, we dont want any (repeat!) accidents.

Top tech tip #4...

This is another proper shagster tip, trust me this one works, When you can't start your orangy LML that you've tried to make look like a genuine italian bike (in order to keep up with the club elitists - no names mentioned Mick), Do not immediately assume that somehow the garage pixies have been playing with things and rush out and buy new Cdi units or ignition switches. As you've got older your short term memory suffers and you may have simply forgotten to turn the key at least one click clockwise in the ignition. (anyone needing spare Cdi units or switches or other electrical bits, contact Shaggy).

Top tech tip #5....

This top tip comes from Trevor, top bloke and Ebay master. If you want your scooter to push out a smoke screen so that plod can't get your number plate, Trevor finds that putting just over four quids worth of diesel into your petrol tank works wonders. Of course the other advantage is that you dont need to worry about 2 stroke oil ratios or mixtures. The downside is that your scooter wont feckin' start and you'll have to get your mates to push you round the car park to get it running. Some of the more judgemental members of our club think that Trev is a bit of a dickhead for doing this, but we all know Trev wouldn't do something so stupid without a good reason!